Life in Oblivion: good or bad?

Is living a life of oblivion all it’s cracked up to be
Wearing the weight of the world on their shoulders for all to see
Unbeknownst to them they are the low of the low of the US of A
But it’s disguised by the fact that we offer “freedom” everyday
Freedom to do what exactly—nobody seems to know
On dead end streets where there seems to be only one way to go
It’s been twisted and presented as the great dream
But how do they get there without having the means
Is it a good thing their dreams align with each other’s?
With hopes to be singers, dancers, ballers, fathers and mothers
Yet it’s hidden from them, this harsh reality
Is this better left unsaid or is it another tragedy
They start out here with two strikes against them
They’re up to bat in a world that’s not rooting for ‘em
Gangs are cruising, hunger is lurking, and untimely death is a fact of life
These kids at twelve have seen more than I ever will—doesn’t seem right
They’re desperate to survive but have nowhere else to go
Do they know there’s an up, there’s a way out, there’s hope
So do I feed their reality with more obscurities of a truth
Or can I show them there’s another way, is there any solid proof
Education is the key to this life that they’re dreaming to make
But they don’t seem to understand the severity, the urgency, the give and take
Learn to play the game before they strike you out again
Because you never know when it’s going to be the time to end
So fight and push and dream your way to the top
By earning and learning, there’s no way to put a stop


AS I DISCUSS LIFE WITH MY STUDENTS OF SOUTH CENTRAL, I CANNOT HELP BUT BE PLAGUED BY THE QUESTION: AM I DOING WHAT'S BEST FOR THEM? I AM A SPECIAL EDUCATION TEACHER, BUT MOST OF MY STUDENTS ARE NOT AWARE OF THAT. I DO NOT WANT THE STIGMA, NOR DO I WANT THEM TO SUFFER FROM THE STIGMA. BUT, IN THE LONG RUN, IS THIS HELPING THEM AT ALL? ALSO, A MAJORITY OF MY STUDENTS CONSIDER THEMSELVES TO BE "MIDDLE CLASS' WHEN IN REALITY, THIS IS ABOUT AS LOW CLASS AS YOU CAN GET IN AMERICA. FOOD STAMPS FOR 98%, UNSANITARY CONDITIONS, GANGS, DEATH, ETC.; HOWEVER, THEY ASK US 'ARE POOR PEOPLE THE PEOPLE WHO CAN'T AFFORD TO PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE?" WELL, DEAR STUDENT, THOSE LUNCH TICKETS YOU GET AND EBT CARD YOUR MOM HAS MEANS YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE. IS IT UP TO ME AS THEIR EDUCATOR TO REVEAL THIS HARSH REALITY TO THEM...OR IS LIVING A LIFE OF OBLIVION BETTER WITHOUT EXPOSURE TO WHAT ELSE LIFE HAS TO OFFER?

7.6 Times longer than necessary

Many you have heard my new theory that all of my stories tend to be 7.6 times longer than necessary. If you have been around me sharing a story, read my quarterly email updates, or received a Christmas letter, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you obviously don't know me. But welcome to my blog anyways. So I'm endlessly amused by others' blogs, so I decided...why not? Maybe this will make me write stories down as opposed to feeling obligated to tell them on ten separate occassions. Unfortunately, I don't know where to begin with this thing. I do like lists. Anybody that knows me personally knows that this is a huge part of what makes me me. I used to think that makes me highly predictable, moderately boring, and way too by the book, but I've been told otherwise. I'm sure some will still agree with the forementioned, but I'll just pretend that I'm not (predicatable or boring, in case I lost you). So I'm going to list my top highlights from this week alone (and in order to do this, I will consult my planner in order to refresh my memory as to what exactly I did this week!):
HIGHLIGHTS (being either positive or negative, that is):
(in no particular order except for when they pop into my head)
1. I received an email from Teach for America letting me know that they want to fly me back out to Denton to help recruit at UNT which will involve giving 12 presentations two days in a row! But also a great time for catch up with friends :-)
2. I made a flight and hotel reservations for my trip to Peru in two weeks. I will be flying from Lima to Cuzco six hours after I arrive and will have a day to acclimate to the high altitude which apparently is pretty crazy. They serve you a tea made from cocaine leaves to help alleviate the pain. Weird. And I'm trying to stay at a hotel that helps fund an orphanage that is on-site. Why do I picture myself playing with the kids rather than visiting Incan ruins?
3. I had to leave work early on Monday because my roommate fell down the stairs right outside of her office and sprained her ankle. I'm not sure if this is positive or negative. My roommate is probably one of the most hilarious and dramatic people that I know so there were endless comments about having fallen down a urine-infested stairwell in south central and landing by all of the dead roaches. And watching her hobble around the rest of the week and deny crutches was amusing as well.
4. I got to hang out with three of my favorite people last night. All of us being part of what we affectionately know as the "Christian Coalition". First we went to a friend's bball game. Then, we ate at Corner Bakery (YUM!) and shared stories, caught up, laughed, and laughed some more. We then spent hours talking in the parking lot and laughed so much that we cried. It was a highly amusing evening had by all (at least, I hope it was...I know it was for me!)
5. A few of these are now going to involve my fabulous boyfriend of seven months, Patrick. After minor tiffs throughout the week (all, of course being my fault because he is super rational and normal while I, on the other hand, tend to be more....emotional, if you will. But, note to all of you reading this: do not tell a girl she's emotional right at the time of month she probably really is emotional! Not okay!) Either way, it all turned out honkey-dorey (is that a phrase?) because a conversation that we had inevitably led to me confessing my love to him on Wednesday evening. To which he kissed me and told me he loved me too :-) Apparently, I came off quite strong on our first date at Starbuck's seven months ago and he's known since then he would never be the first to confess his love to me. Or I would scream and run in the other direction. Wow, this man knows me so well!
6. I received a phone call from him during hang out with Christian Coalition time last night for him to let me know that he wants me to be the love of his life. How precious is this man?!?! Of course, he was careful to precede it with, "I know we've only known each other for seven months and I don't want to scare you and assuming things continue progressing how they are, etc, etc,". I must admit it was really nice to hear and know we were on the same page. This is the first relationship that I've had that I haven't got caught up in future plans that inevitably destruct a relationship because there's too much pressure. We're just enjoying the limited time that we do get to spend together.
7. I am involved in a Skid Row ministry and we had an outreach Saturday morning. I absolutely LOVE people. I love their stories, I love their passion, I love their hope, I love their faith, I love their willingness to share. Seeing what they have seen and experiencing what they have experiences, I feel would make it hard for me to trust there is a God that is good and merciful out there. They prove me otherwise. They are aware there is another way that that God has a plan for their lives. I just pray that I have their perspective when presented with difficult situations.
8. I am still doing Weight Watchers. I've probably eaten more than I should have this weekend, but so goes it. I need to learn to forgive myself for that kind of stuff. I was consistent with working out this week and ate really healthy. Unfortunately, due to something mentioned in another highlight, I gained a little bit of weight. It was a little bit discouraging, but I know I will have a better week this week!
9. I talked to my grandma and friend Trisha to confirm plans to visit Michigan next week!! I fly out there next Saturday morning to spend some much needed down time with friends and family. It will be followed by a trip to Scottsdale for a few days and then a ten day trip to Peru (mentioned previously as well)...God is so good that I have been presented with such amazing opportunities to travel and spend time with the people I love! Granted, my credit card's are paying for that, but I figure....you're only young once! I've determined some things are backwards. We tend to spend all of our time earning money to be able to retire at an age where we no longer have the same energy, capabilities, or desire to travel, etc. Might as well travel and have fun while young and spend your life paying off the debt and saving for a modest retirement. Ok, obviously, being a financial advisor is nowhere in my future!
10. Patrick and I are celebrating Christmas together this Friday and I'm excited to have some extended one on one time with him and share our presents! I'm really excited about my gift to him (mainly because it benefits me!...I'll be sure to share afterwards, just in case he gets ahold of this blog. Wouldn't want to spoil his fun) and mainly just excited to see him before I run off on my world tour again. He is so patient, encouraging, and understanding. I really am blessed.

And, that's about it! Of course, I could go on forever, but have other things I must tend to!